Divorce is a horrible, wretched thing. It tears family’s and people apart. It brings you to a place where you can’t breath and you can’t see straight, and you are left with more questions than answers. It burns the house down until there is nothing left, and forces you to grieve what you have lost and rebuild something different all at once. It leaves you wishing for what once was and scared about what will be. It is the ultimate life changer.
He builds a new life. A new car, a new phone, a new wardrobe, new friends. I am left picking up the pieces of what is left of us. I furnish my small apartment. I cook for two instead of three. I work long hours to pay small bills and I love on my girl as much as I can. Life is never the same.
When the house has been burnt down you are left with a few choices. You can pick up the pieces. Rebuild your life, and start to find joy again. Or you can stand there and watch it burn, and when the flames are out and you are left only with ash then you can sit down where you are and always look at your life, questioning the tragedy and never move. I have taken a third approach. I watched it burn. I even tried to save it. But there came a point that it couldn’t be saved. So I watched it. Then I sat down. I felt my grief. I cried my tears, and then I got up. I started buying furniture. Spending a few days building routine. Then I came back and sat down. I looked at the ash. I cried more. I cried out with questions that have no answers. I felt the grief, and anger. Then I got back up. I have continued this cycle and it is so good, and so bad, and so necessary.
Divorce burns the house down.